I'm just your average, everyday, divorced 38 year old girl -- overweight, tragically unhip,
and trying to make a life for myself. I live with two furry beasts, Dave and Abby, whose
feline mission in life is to choke me with their fur. Nothing special.
Why I hate aerobics OR If I find that b**** on the tape, I'll beat her with my Reeboks!
Saturday afternoon. I woke this morning, put on my indoor workout gear (tank top instead of baggy tshirt) and pulled out my laptop and new Leslie Sans0ne DVD. I was ready for a longer version of the Walk Away the Pounds workouts that I already own. I was not ready for this DVD.
Take yourself way back, let's say back to 1987. Are you there? Remember the standard garb for aerobics? (That's what they called "working out" back then, Jenniy. I know you won't understand most of this, so just ask your mom - she'll remember. LOL.) Leotard, tights, and Reebok aerobic shoes (not cross trainers, aerobic shoes). My first sign that this wasn't going to be like my normal WATP workouts was the costume she was wearing. Yikes! OK, but I'm up and I love her workouts, so let's just get past my bad-80s-aerobic flashback and give it a chance. Sign number two was the music. "Everybody dance now!" Ut-oh. Still, it's not too bad. Granted, it was still in the warm up phase at that point, but I was hanging in there. What clinched it for me is when we started doing box steps, in-in-out-out, tap outs, and all of my favorite (in 1987) aerobic moves and combinations. Hello? Leslie Sans0ne doesn't do complicated combinations of moves, she does the same, simple movements over and over and gives you adequate notice when she's going to change something. Well, at least, that's what she does now. Apparently, in 1987, she hadn't yet learned the power of advance warning. Yes, I finished it. Yes, I screamed obscenities more than once. Yes, I will probably do it again because it left me, literally, exhausted and dripping sweat from every pore, and that's the point of these little exercises in pain, isn't it?
However, for the girl in the back of the room on the video, the one in the two piece leotard with aerobics belt, and scary 80s makeup, I have a message: if I find you at Walmart with your six kids, case of Aqua Net, and pack of cigarettes, you'd better hope you can still run faster than my fat butt!
Sometimes the best way to deal with food is not at all
Friday morning. Yesterday was one of our World Famous potlucks here in my humble corner of VLSCI. These events are so wildly popular that we have created a series of cookbooks to contain all of the recipes. I was originally planning on bringing along the Cheeselog a la Manny (a recipe I got from a former colleague - Manny) but then thought about the fact that I'd be really tempted to snarf one of everything on the table, so I opted out of the potluck festivities entirely. I tried to avoid the area with food so as not to push my luck and it worked like a charm. No food in me except my prepared meal and I didn't even feel deprived. The fact that my scheduled looked like "eight hours of meetings, 20 minutes with Denise", as one of my team members pointed out later, probably helped a lot. If you're not around, it's hard to be tempted.
Never underestimate the power of the polka dot flippy skirt!
Wednesday afternoon. Once again, I find myself inappropriately enamored of my outfit. I've received several compliments on my skirt and many raised eyebrows for my shoes (pale pink, chocolate brown, and ivory mules with a 3-1/2" heel). Ha! I love my outfit and I love it all the more because it's a size 22 instead of the size 26 I was wearing just 15 weeks ago. I know it's shallow and I know I shouldn't be focused on the outward, worldly manifestations of the work I'm doing but...shoot me, I'm human.
Tonight, it's off to the Goddess of Hair, Nicole. I'm not sure what I'm going to do with my hair, although I love Ashley Judd's hair and am seriously thinking of going for something that will make use of all of the natural waviness of my hair. We shall see what transpires because Nicole nearly always has a good idea that I love.
Food and activity are going as planned. I even got up early this morning and did Leslie Sans0ne's 2 mile WATP tape because I knew I would be at the hair salon until 6pm and then be ravenous for dinner. My goodness, aren't we the athlete?
Tuesday afternoon. No more. NO. MORE. I have had it with everything and everyone today. (Oh, by the way, confidential to the product manager who scheduled their release on a date that is so completely nonsensical: No, I still don't have any more information about when those components will be ready to go!!!) It has been one crisis after another all day here, from the moment I walked through the door and continuing to this very moment. I'm actually on a conference call/meeting while I'm writing and this writing is what is keeping me from taking myself off of mute (thank God for mute!) and screaming something wholly inappropriate into my speakerphone.
I am, in all seriousness, tired of being a grown up. Children (and infantile adults) are allowed to have hissy fits and tantrums and that's what I'm ready for right now. One more thing and I just might forget that I'm a manager and an adult! I've got two employees out, 75 pieces of work in for update, one very high profile product waiting on my "okey dokey" before it can release, and another one which is approaching critical mass, and I very seriously don't want to play.
Sunday night. My quest for a pair of jeans has ended in the most unlikely of places: WalMart. Yes, really. I've tried jeans from Old Navy, Lane Bryant, and Just My Size and, when the waist fits, the hips and legs are laughably huge. I had nearly given up being able to wear jeans until I reach "normal" sizes until today. I found three pairs of jeans at WalMart which, although a wee bit tight around the waist, fit like a dream in the hips and legs. WooHoo. Casual clothes, here I come!
Yesterday, I ordered four Leslie Sans0ne walking DVDs and videos. Two are DVDs, including the four mile power walk, and two are videos (Walk and Kick - kickboxing plus walking, and Walk and Jog - two minute jogging sessions interspersed with her usual walking routine). The DVDs are primarily for when I'm on the road and the gym doesn't open early enough or stay open late enough for me to be able to get a workout in. The videos are to enable me to expand my repertoire of non-walking activities for every other day. I am actually attributing some of my recent loss around the waist to my new routine of alternating 60 minutes of walking one day with the three mile Walk Away the Pounds video the next. If you've never done one of her workouts, you're probably thinking I'm crazy but, I kid you not, they are tougher than they look, especially with three pound weights. In any case, it seems to be working for me and I'm going to keep it up, even once I start my 13-week walk to jog program. (I was scheduled to start tomorrow, but I'm thinking of putting it off until I reach 220, just to make it a little easier on my poor knees. It's only 4.4 pounds, so it should be a few more weeks.)
By the way, today was a really spectacular day. No particular reason, just an overall wonderful day to be alive and living in Paradise.
