Saturday, September 25, 2004

Why I hate aerobics OR If I find that b**** on the tape, I'll beat her with my Reeboks!

Saturday afternoon. I woke this morning, put on my indoor workout gear (tank top instead of baggy tshirt) and pulled out my laptop and new Leslie Sans0ne DVD. I was ready for a longer version of the Walk Away the Pounds workouts that I already own. I was not ready for this DVD.

Take yourself way back, let's say back to 1987. Are you there? Remember the standard garb for aerobics? (That's what they called "working out" back then, Jenniy. I know you won't understand most of this, so just ask your mom - she'll remember. LOL.) Leotard, tights, and Reebok aerobic shoes (not cross trainers, aerobic shoes). My first sign that this wasn't going to be like my normal WATP workouts was the costume she was wearing. Yikes! OK, but I'm up and I love her workouts, so let's just get past my bad-80s-aerobic flashback and give it a chance. Sign number two was the music. "Everybody dance now!" Ut-oh. Still, it's not too bad. Granted, it was still in the warm up phase at that point, but I was hanging in there. What clinched it for me is when we started doing box steps, in-in-out-out, tap outs, and all of my favorite (in 1987) aerobic moves and combinations. Hello? Leslie Sans0ne doesn't do complicated combinations of moves, she does the same, simple movements over and over and gives you adequate notice when she's going to change something. Well, at least, that's what she does now. Apparently, in 1987, she hadn't yet learned the power of advance warning. Yes, I finished it. Yes, I screamed obscenities more than once. Yes, I will probably do it again because it left me, literally, exhausted and dripping sweat from every pore, and that's the point of these little exercises in pain, isn't it?

However, for the girl in the back of the room on the video, the one in the two piece leotard with aerobics belt, and scary 80s makeup, I have a message: if I find you at Walmart with your six kids, case of Aqua Net, and pack of cigarettes, you'd better hope you can still run faster than my fat butt!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

leotards and tights rule!