Thursday, March 24, 2005

Looking forward and looking back

Thursday morning. I met Meta for a latte this morning (he's in town for work) and we talked about looking back at our sites to the time when things were rolling right along with our journey to better health to see if there were any magic words of wisdom.

From June 15 (only nine day into the Ten Percent Challenge):

"Every day, I unearth new and wonderful things about myself that make me feel stronger and more committed to taking care of myself and treating myself with love and kindness. Sometimes, it really does feel like a miracle when I look at where I was just a few months ago or even last month and where I am now - both in terms of the way I'm taking care of myself and the way I feel about myself. The neat thing is that the two things feed each other and become self sustaining, especially in the long term. Eventually, it simply becomes easier to keep doing what feels good and nurtures my positive self image, and, this time around, there's nothing negative in my motivation. I don't feel disgusted with myself as I am, right now, and I'm not desperate to lose weight to feel good about myself, either. I truly am doing this because I want to be healthier, live longer, and stop abusing myself with food. I know it's just a small change, but it means everything to me and I am so grateful for the changes in my life."

At the risk of sounding cliche, that passage really does hold the key for my long term success. I must shift my mindset about myself from one of anger and disgust to a renewed focus on love and kindness. I have to do that despite the fact that my new, beautiful clothes are tight and despite my disappointment over the poor eating choices I've been making of late. This is not irreversible. Yet.

I'm at a crossroads here. I see both paths very clearly and only one leads to a place where I'm happy and at peace. It might take me a little while to get completely back on the path I want, but I feel confident that I see where I need to go and know what I need to do to get there.

8 comments:

Amanda said...

I only wish I were in this frame of mind at the moment.

You are a lucky girl.

xx

CheekyMoo said...

I really like that positive attitude. It took me a while but it's one I've adopted on the way. I think it's the key to success so I know you'll get there.

karma said...

love your template. very pretty! :))

deb said...

I'm at that crossroads, too, Denise. Having lost enough weight to be down to a comfortable (for me) size, I've gained a third of it back since Christmas. I'm bloated, miserable and depressed over it. I've tried all week to do better. I start of so good in the mornings - even lunch, but when I get home from work it all goes downhill and I find myself turning to junk instead of nutrition. I wish it was easier. I want to get my old resolve back but I can't!!!

agategoddess said...

Sounds to me like you're on to something :) I'm sure you'll find the right path and stay on it. Hang in there, sometimes we need to fall a little bit in order to get back on the horse.

Oh god, that was such a horrible cliche. But you know what I mean.

suzy snow said...

Hang in there and be strong. I've been struggling to get back on track for almost 3 years now and I don't know how to. Silly, because I never thought I would stray so far away. I wish you success and I think you have a great attitude!

Gatsby said...

Good luck! I admire anyone who puts effort into making changes in their lives. It's definitely not easy.

Michael said...

Shifting self image toward the positive, and then maintaining that positive self-image is sooo difficult. I know I can be my own worst enemy far too often.

At least you can see your goal and the path to your goal; that means reaching it is quite doable.

Your beautiful new clothes will fit comfortably again before you know it, and soon after that, they will be loose on you.