Saturday, April 03, 2004

Happy, happy birthday, Baybee

Saturday morning. One year ago today, I started this site as a way to try to make some sense of the chaos in my life. So much has changed since then and yet, I find myself in very much the same place. How does that happen?

I was/am alone, frustrated by my unwillingness to do anything about my weight and health, and upset because my life was/is so empty of meaning. I made significant strides in each of those areas in the past 365 days, but have let the gains that I made slip through my fingers like so much sand. I worked hard to do the things that I did, and yet they're gone and I can't get them back, I can only go forward.

What has changed since April 3, 2003? This journal. I had no readers, although I affectionately/derisively wrote as though I did. I don't think that I had a single reader until, possibly, June, but I still tried to write on a regular basis just because I wanted to get in the habit of writing again and because it felt so good and right to do so. Now, I feel a real sense of pride when I think about what I've accomplished. No, I'm not one of those sites with 100,000 hits in its first year and hundreds of links from other sites, but I have a site with a great design (thanks Dianne!), engaged readers with whom I interact every day, and content that continues to improve as I dust off my long-dormant creative writing skills. In fact, the writing that I've done here has helped me feel a lot better about myself and about my own worth, which was, as I recall, one of my hopes when I first put words to dialog box last year. Not bad for a girl who didn't even know HTML, huh?

So, thank you to anyone that is reading this. It still blows my mind that there are total strangers, people that I've never met, that are interested enough to come here everyday and read what I have to say. Amazing. What a great gig this is! I'm ready for the next year, are you? Let's go.

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