I'm just your average, everyday, divorced 38 year old girl -- overweight, tragically unhip,
and trying to make a life for myself. I live with two furry beasts, Dave and Abby, whose
feline mission in life is to choke me with their fur. Nothing special.
Friday afternoon. Yes, another long period has gone by with no posting from me. I am shamed. Really. Trust me.
Wednesday was a day off of work for me so that I could take TCB to the eye doctor for a six month laser eye surgery follow up. He had his (beautiful, blue) eyes dilated and looked like he'd just smoked a whole bunch of pot. While we were in the neighborhood (Point Loma), we checked the Navy Exchange for the buttons missing from his dress navy blue uniform. Why, you might ask, would he be worrying about that? Oh, that would be because he needs that uniform for the Navy ball we're attending this weekend! Gah, men. Anyway, no luck at the Point Loma Exchange, so we headed south to 32nd Street where they have a larger Exchange facility. Fortunately for both of us, the buttons and the little clippy jobbies that hold them on were in stock and we grabbed enough to have two complete sets - one for his dress blue uni and one for the dress white uni. With that out of the way, we headed home so that TCB could nap and I could get ready for a work meeting.
After my meeting, we went out for dinner at my local Chinese buffet. Mmmmm. I know, I know, it's not healthy, but it sure is good! It's also fast, which was good because I only had an hour to eat and get over to Alcott's school for Open House.
Let me tell you, I had the eeriest feeling as I was walking around his school looking for the Open House. I remember high school - we all remember high school, right? - and I felt this sense of nostalgia as I walked among the lockers and the "Vote Missy for Homecoming Queen" posters. And then. And then it happened. I was a little lost and wandered out onto the playing fields behind the school where I stumbled upon two couples making out. No big deal, it's happened many times before. These kids freaked out and pulled apart like I was Godzilla or something. Following is a transcript of the conversation going on in my head:
Hello? I'm not armed or anything and it's not like I'm a teacher or a...parent. Omigosh, they think I'm a parent. Omigosh, I could be their parent. God I'm old.
Once I'd gotten over my sadness at the passing of my youth and swift approach of middle age, I embraced the spirit of the occasion and, once I found the gym, began the process of talking to each of Alcott's teachers with gusto. Yes, we picked up all kinds of good information. As he winced in embarrassment and pain, I asked about extra college prep reading lists for his English class, moving him from Geometry (which he's skating through but which is not challenging) to Algebra II next semester, signing him up for on campus clubs (no, it's not too late to join Key Club for this year), and a class he can take in his senior year that teaches them about internships and then actually has them go out and obtain internships. Oh, the joy in his heart as I picked up brochure after brochure on programs, classes, and involvement opportunities. Isn't he the lucky boy??? Most parents would be satisfied with his 3.7gpa but, of course, I'm not a parent, I'm a CASA! Oh, did I mention that my supervisor loved my court report and only changed two direct references to schools he'd attended? Yea me!
Well, I must run. I have to pick up my ballgown for this weekend's festivities from the tailors (darn my short stature!), pick up TCB's uniform from the dry cleaners (no, he hadn't dropped it off before Wednesday's appointment), drop them both off at the house so that I can run to Mission Valley to see a movie with my Junior League buddies, then run past Target to pick up feminine hygeine products (sorry, guys) for the trip, then come home, do another load of laundry, and fall asleep. I need to be up super duper early to pack, feed and water the cats, get showered and dressed, run up to Oceanside to TCB's by 8am so that we can go over and pick up our (good gas mileage) rental car, leave by 9am to meet my parents at a restaurant near their house by 10:30am for a lunch that must end by 12noon so that we can be on the road to Primm, Nevada, where we have to be checked in at 4pm so that I can get ready for the formal reception which starts at 5:30pm.
Monday night. I called and left a message for the therapist. Of course, she hasn't called me back, but I'm sure she will. (Ugh, how long can I put off calling back to check on it?)
I'm going home - this non-procrastination thing is exhausting!
Sunday night. Yes, another weekend blown by with no discernable progress on the weight loss and fitness thing. Well, I did get about halfway through Governor Huckabee's book, and I really am finding it quite inspirational. Of course, he advises that you stick strictly to whichever program you choose for the first 12 days and, with a military ball to attend with TCB this weekend in the desert, that means I'll be pushing things back until at least Monday night when I return. Still, I can (and will!) make the call to the therapist tomorrow and see if I can get in on Wednesday. Something that the book really emphasizes is not underestimating the importance of taking small steps at first so I'm going to give myself credit if I can manage to pick up the phone and make the call. Basically, as I see it, it all comes down to this: what other option do I have? I can't just give up and stay this way forever. I'm uncomfortable, I'm unhappy, I'm unhealthy, and I won't live long if I keep on this path. No, change must happen and it must come from me.
I spent both weekend mornings with Alcott and his siblings and they're really in a very good place right now. I need to finish up my (two days late) court report and then I can consider that part of my life "good". TCB is, well, TCB, and he's fine, too. Daddy has been slowly gaining his 50 pounds lost right back (like father, like daughter) and has Mom really terrified, so I need to think about how I can help him. I've got to send letters of support for two pieces of pending legislation in the California Assembly as part of my Junior League duties, so I really need to get on that, too. Still and all, the other parts of my life are doing OK and it's time that I put the focus back on me before the pain I'm feeling starts to creep into all of the other wonderful parts of my life. I've worked too hard for this...every blessed second of it, and I'm not going to sit back and let it disappear!
