I'm just your average, everyday, divorced 38 year old girl -- overweight, tragically unhip,
and trying to make a life for myself. I live with two furry beasts, Dave and Abby, whose
feline mission in life is to choke me with their fur. Nothing special.
Saturday morning. It was very early in the morning, although I'm not sure of the exact time. I know it was crack of dawn type early because I had gotten up to see my husband, Hudson, off to work. Hud was working on a job in Simi Valley, just north of LA, so he was up and away by about 3:30am, to the best of my recollection. I'm not sure why I didn't go back to sleep, but I think it was because I had the day off or something. Anyway, my cat, Dave, and I were goofing off upstairs in the living room when I, simultaneously, heard and felt it. The initial rough jolt was followed very quickly by a rolling sensation which, if you've never experienced it is impossible to describe, and I could hear the wine glasses suspended above the bar clanging together. It took me about 10 seconds to realize that it was an earthquake, a very strong earthquake, and that I should be under something. I grabbed Dave and jumped under the dining room table because there are no open doorways upstairs. The rolling subsided after about 30 seconds, but I could still feel it. I walked unsteadily to the phone so that I could call Hud, only to find it ringing as I reached for it. It was Hud, turned around and on his way back home. He told me to call his parents in Arcadia (in LA) and my parents in Anaheim (southeast of LA) and to stay under the table with the radio on and the cat leashed up with me, which I did. Neither parents' phone went through, and I got this truly horrible message telling me that "all circuits are busy" and to "try again later". By the time Hud got home, I was starting to panic. KNX news radio (LA station) was broadcasting that freeways had collapsed, buildings were on fire, and there were buildings collapsing all over the city...and I couldn't talk to my mom to make sure she and Daddy were OK. Once I'd taken a quick shower, we were off in Hud's truck (in case we had to go off road or navigate collapsed highways), first to his folks, then to mine. We spent the rest of the day driving around LA and Orange County. No one that we knew was hurt, but the scenes of devastation were beyond my comprehension. We'd be driving along on the freeway when, all of a sudden, the ground had just lifted an overpass up by a foot and we'd have to slow to a stop and push forward very slowly. It was a spooky, eerie kind of day.
I can't believe it's been ten years since Northridge. In some sense, it feels a lifetime ago because so much has changed. Hud and I have been divorced for over five years now, and that, in and of itself, is enough to send me reeling at the effect time has on our lives. If you had told me in 1994 that, ten years on, I'd be divorced and engaged again, I'd never have believed you. We were practically newlyweds then, married for less than two years, still happily unaware of what lay ahead of us. So much about LA has changed, too. They retrofitted all of the freeway overpasses in California to allow for the side to side motion that caused the collapse of several freeway interchanges, so that shouldn't happen again. In the true spirit of Los Angeles, there are nearly no signs of what happened early on January 17, 1994 because the city is so good at regenerating, repairing, and moving on. I guess, in a lot of ways, I'm like the area I grew up in. The scars from my past are not visible to the untrained eye and, just like LA, I've moved on. The pain of growing up and moving on from my first love has subsided and has, only just recently, been supplanted by the joy of experiencing a new love, and, while I still worry about the ground moving under my feet, I understand now that sometimes life needs shaking up in order to grow.
Friday night. I just got called in to work to resolve a file delivery issue, where I also found a perterbed email from another customer because of a change made to one of her product components without her permission. Resolved both and am going home, but I felt the urge to post so that you, my loyal readers, can see how exciting my life is. Don't you wish you could spend your Friday nights at VLSCI???
I remember when I was a little girl and my throat didn't hurt
Friday afternoon (thank God!). Dan has inspired me today (which is a huge miracle given how poopy I'm feeling), so here's my list of favorite childhood books:
"From the Mixed-Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler" by E.L. Konigsburg - absolutely engrossing tale of siblings who run away and go to live at the Metropolitan Museum of Art in NYC. It wasn't until this past summer that I actually got to visit this museum, and the very first thing that I thought about what this book.
"Little Women" by Louisa May Alcott - what can you say about one of the all time classics of children's literature. This is the story of four sisters and their mother about the time of the American Civil War and their interactions with one another as they grow and change. It is a wholesome, loving look at family life in that time period and it was very comforting to a little girl in the 1970's whose father had disaappeared and whose favorite grandma lived on a different continent. It was the character of Jo from this story that first inspired me to write stories myself.
"Charlotte's Web" by E.B. White - I sobbed and sobbed at the end of this book. It's the story of a little pig and his friends in the barnyard, including a spider named Charlotte. I'm getting all misty just remembering. If you haven't read it, do yourself a favor and pick it up for the long weekend.
"Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing" by Judy Blume - I think this was probably the funniest story I read as a child. The story of Peter and his younger brother, affectionately known as "Fudge", will ring true to any older sibling. Fudge torments Peter with his childish antics while Peter struggles with the travails of being eight years old. Judy Blume wrote some pretty controversial stuff later on, but this book, along with the spin offs and sequels, is straightforwardly wonderful.
"Ballet Shoes" by Noel Streatfeild - I loved the whole "Shoes" series of stories, but this one was my very favorite. The stories all center around three sisters who dream of doing great things and then work hard to make their dreams come true. My grandma and mother were/are both from England, so I suppose that was part of the charm for me. I will definitely be buying all of these books for my stepdaughters!
"Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm" by Kate Douglas Wiggin - I just loved this book because of the relationship between Rebecca and her Aunt Miranda. Rebecca is a strong, positive little girl, even when faced with daunting challenges. I get a warm feeling just remembering.
The "Little House" books by Laura Ingalls Wilder - Yes, these are the books which inspired the television series (which I also loved), but they are so much richer than the series ever was. The relationships Mrs. Wilder details between each of the characters, as well as the simple retelling of her childhood adventures, allowed me to feel as though I, too, was a little girl living in the midwest in the post American Civil War era.
"Sports Day at Blackberry Farm" by Jane Pilgrim - This is but one in the "Blackberry Farm" series of books. These are English, so many of my readers have probably never heard of them, but they were a mainstay in my reading as a young child. I can remember my mother sitting on the edge of my bed, reading these stories to me, over and over. Basically, it's about a farm family and the animals on the farm. Each of the stories focuses on a different animal family. Beautifully illustrated, I have been trying to acquire as many of the original books as possible, even before I knew I'd have stepchildren to read them to, just because they're such wonderful books.
"Noddy at the Seaside" by Enid Blyton - This is another English series of stories that I loved as a child. Noddy is always getting into trouble for something or other, although he never means to and always has good intentions (much like me as a child). The books are brightly illustrated and easily understood by even the youngest children. My grandma always used to give me "Noddy" books when I'd visit, so they also remind me of my little box room in her house, with a cup of tea and a biscuit to keep me company while I read.
Thank you so much, Dan, for bringing back so many wonderful memories. Isn't it sort of sad that most adult literature doesn't evoke these same sort of feelings?
Finding ways to occupy yourself when you can't sleep - Day 14
Wednesday night. This makes me SO angry. I know, I shouldn't be surprised, and I'm not, it's just that seeing it, right there in plain view, so openly expressed, is such an affront. Why is it that something so superficial, so much out of our control, is so important in determining how we are received by the world. Bleah!!!
In more important news, tonight will be two weeks since I had an entire night worth of uninterrupted sleep. Doesn't look promising for a good night tonight, either. At this point, if I get four hours, I feel blessed and call it good! I don't know what's going on, but it's getting a little old and I'd like to see it stop. Actually, as I said to Chris earlier tonight, "I just want to feel OK...normal again." I'm so tired of not being comfortable, I want to scream. Unfortunately, when I cry it makes my sinuses puff up and that makes my throat (and ears) hurt. You know it's a bad thing when you've got a sort throat, ear ache, and Aunt Flo and you can't even have a good cry. Can't have any ice cream, either (all milk products are out). This really sucks! (Don't you just love how good a little vulgarity makes you feel sometimes???)
I'm going now, not to sleep (although that would certainly be nice), just to take my 11pm dose of my antibiotic and pick up the book I started last night. It's "Shopaholic Ties the Knot" and it's hilarious. Light and fluffy like a merangue...just perfect for the insomniac. Night night, everyone. Sweet dreams.
Tuesday afternoon. I can't believe I didn't post yesterday. I'm chalking it up to how poopy I felt with my sore throat and earache and moving right along...
Nothing terribly exciting to report, other than the fact that I did finally break down and go to the doctor. What finally convinced me was how sore my poor ears got this morning. It was so bad that I just couldn't concentrate on anything and ended up taking two Advil. That was when I called the doctor's office and asked if there was any way they could fit me in today. Fortunately for me, they had an appointment just before lunch. I was in and out in less than 10 minutes. No sign of anything untoward, but the doctor prescribed Amoxycillin (sp?) because of how long I'd had the sore throat. Mom says I need to stock up on yogurt before I start taking the pills because you can get yeast infections while on antibiotics. That's all I need right now! I truly, really just want to feel better for a change. Really better. Normal better. Then, once that happens, I can focus on doing what I need to do for myself to keep this from happening again.
OK, off to the water cooler to down another 20oz. Have to keep the throat from drying out, no matter how much it hurts to swallow.
Sunday evening. Well, I have accomplished next to nothing this weekend. I had such high hopes, and yet here I am, at the end of another weekend with nearly nothing done. Oh, well! I'm here, I'm feeling better every day (if only this wicked sore throat would go away!!!), and that's what's important. The rest of the "to do" list is just details. I have a wonderful fiance, a wonderful job, I am getting healthier with each passing day, and I have enough (more than enough, actually) food on my table. I am so blessed, and that's good to remember every once in a while.
Talked with my future mother in law, Jeanette, for a little while today. It happened while I was talking with Chris. I had asked him last week to get current on all of the family gossip with his mom so that he could pass it on to me. He said that he would but, of course, he did not, so, when I asked him this morning what was up with a certain extended family member, he just handed the phone over to his mom and said, "Tell her what's going on with so-and-so, please", and, with that, I was passed over to his mom. She is such a great lady...strong, in mind, body, and spirit, and such a warm and friendly soul, too. She is all about her family and her friends, and yet, so many of them take her for granted and take advantage, too. It makes me mad because that's just the way so many people in the world operate and it's just not fair. Anyway, we gabbed for the better part of an hour, with her telling me lots of the things that are frustrating her right now and some of the hurtful things people have done to her, and I just want to go back there and shake a few people until I hear a rattling sound from the spot their brains should be in. It was nice, though, at the end of our conversation, she told me that she was glad we'd talked and that I'd cheered her up. You know, that just about broke my heart for some reason. She has no daughters, or daughters-in-law (unless you count the no-account woman her younger son is married to, which no one does), and only one sister, so I think she sort of misses out by not having a close female friend. I told Chris that I feel like I should start calling and talking to her on a more regular basis, sort of like I do with my mom. Mom and I have a deal whereby I call her once a day, no matter where I am, and she doesn't fret about me, freak out and call at inopportune moments, or get lonely and feel unloved. I wouldn't call Jeanette every day, but perhaps a couple of times a week wouldn't be a bad thing. What a blessing it is, to be able to enjoy conversations with your (future) mother-in-law. My first husband's mother was a huge pain in the behind. She meddled in places she had no business being, was emotionally manipulative, and a professional passive/aggressive. I couldn't get close to her because we didn't have anything in common. I'm sure she'd be highly amused to hear that I'm so close to a country woman from SW Virginia, being that she was also a snob with delusions of superiority. I just keep thinking that I've enjoyed more laughs with Jeanette than I did in eight years of knowing my ex's mother and, as we all know, she who laughs last laughs loudest!
