I'm just your average, everyday, divorced 38 year old girl -- overweight, tragically unhip,
and trying to make a life for myself. I live with two furry beasts, Dave and Abby, whose
feline mission in life is to choke me with their fur. Nothing special.
Did anyone get the plate number of the truck that ran me over???
Friday morning. Man, I feel like poop. It started last night, just before bed, with a scratchy throat and a little bit of congestion up in my head, then I started to cough when I lay down. I propped up my shoulders with an extra pillow before I went to sleep, but I still woke up this morning feeling slightly worse and with a deep sense of dread. From the body achiness and complete sense of exhaustion, I'm guessing this is the flu, but I'm still hoping for a plain vanilla, run of the mill cold. I'm here at work until after the tree decorating festivities (about 2pm) but then it's going to depend on how I'm feeling.
On a positive note (yes, I still do have good things happening!), one of our toughest outside vendors just signed off on everything we needed from them, about a month earlier than last year. If you exclude one suite of products, my releases are looking really good. Of course, that one suite is my most important, of course, so it counts as, like, eight other products, but still.
Thursday night (late). I've been doing a lot of thinking lately, about what I need, what I want...basically, I've been really into myself. This is, however, the season of giving, so in the spirit of the season, here's what I wish I could get for my e-buddies:
For Georgia, one less headache, for SF, a man who is both worthy of her and emotionally available, for Allison, a shorter commute and a nifty salad joint near work, for Dan, a strong bullpen and a manager that knows how to use it (sorry, I couldn't resist!), for Lori, if she ever rematerializes, Happily Ever After, for Carrie, a decent job and a day at the spa (not necessarily in that order), for SLP, a job that pays her what she's worth, a man both entertaining and gorgeous, and a '96 Jetta to drive between the two, for Peg, a subscription to Self magazine, because it is, hands down, the best, overall fitness magazine I've ever read, for Jennifer, five more hours in the day, and, last but most definitely not least, for Danelle, well, I can't really think of anything that she needs, other than to pass her National exams so that she can go out and save lots of people.
Wow, this virtual shopping is much easier than the real stuff. Remember, everyone, if it doesn't fit, you can always take it back. You won't hurt my feelings. No, really, you won't.
Me? You mean you want to know what I want? Well, other than "The Very Best of Marvin Gaye", and the first season of "The West Wing" on DVD, my wants are pretty simple.
I want to stop soothing myself with my addictions -- shopping and eating, I want to stop hiding my light under a burlap sack (don't worry if you don't get it...it doesn't matter), I want to reconnect with old friends that I've lost through neglect and because I took them for granted, I want to finish the Rock N Roll Marathon on June 6, 2004, and, I want to be happy -- with my life, my friends, my choices, and myself.
Wednesday afternoon. I've been doing a lot of thinking in the last few days, well, the last few months, really, and I think the essence of what I've come up with is that I need to spend some quality time with myself. I have so many distractions and extraneous things going on in my life that I'm feeling sort of, um, blocked. It's like I've overloaded myself with so much miscellaneous garbage that the really important things (my health, my mental well being, my *gasp* happiness) have gone straight to the back burner. I think, in short, that I'm burned out. Now that I've come to that Earth shattering conclusion, what to do?
Totally unrelated things that occur to me at the end of the day
Is anyone else disturbed by this article? I think the worst part is that, when confronted with the fact that his website had a huge whole in it, the CEO said, “We would have caught it in a day or so, but the response was very helpful.” A day or so??? Argh!
This is what I want to be doing for New Year's Eve, if my friend, Tony, will go along with me. LA is total insanity at any time, but I haven't been to the new Symphony Hall and we both love Pink Martini, so I think it would be too fabulous.
Tuesday morning. On the heels of the news that my work friend, Leonor, had finally lost her 18 month battle with colorectal cancer, I find out from my mother that her childhood friend, Janice, is in the hospital with what might be pancreatic cancer. I know this sounds incredibly naive and inane, but I am so fed up with cancer! It tried to take my mother (colon cancer) in February of 2001, my work friends Mark (brain tumor), Leonor (colorectal cancer), and Sharon (breast cancer) in April, March, and April (respectively) of 2001, my eDiets friend Brenda (breast, then liver cancer) in the summer of 2001, and cancer is the second leading cause of death in the United States every year (right behind heart disease). I want to scream. I want to hit something, really hard. You know what the worst part is? It's just not a "sexy" disease, so it doesn't have celebrity fundraisers or poster children. Do you know that when my mother was first diagnosed with her cancer, I was too embarassed to say that she had colon cancer? Well, I'm not embarassed anymore.
A great resource for ways to prevent cancer (or, at the very least, decrease your risk) is this page. I especially like that nearly every type of cancer can be prevented by eating a healthy diet (no red meat, whole grains, lots of fruits and veggies, no alcohol), maintaining a healthy weight, and doing 45 minutes of moderate to vigorous activity at least five days a week. Huh...and that's what I'm already trying to do for my diabetes. Amazing, huh?
Oh, yeah, and I got approval today from my Team Diabetes coordinator to switch from LA to the Rock n Roll Marathon, so I'm very happy.
Weeks to RnR Marathon: 26 (that's six whole months)!
Monday night. I decided it would be fun to see what I will look like after I reach my goal weight. I went to MyVirtualModel.com and created a version of me as I am now and one as I will be in, God willing, about 72 weeks. If you want to take a look, go here. I don't know about you, but I think the after girl is pretty OK.
