I'm just your average, everyday, divorced 38 year old girl -- overweight, tragically unhip,
and trying to make a life for myself. I live with two furry beasts, Dave and Abby, whose
feline mission in life is to choke me with their fur. Nothing special.
Monday night. Have you ever felt as though you needed to take a very clear mental picture of a day because everything was so good, so wonderful, that you knew it couldn't possibly last? That's how I feel about today.
Had another great day with Mom, then put her on train for home. I am sorry to see her go and I know that she'll be back down soon. It's not as though we did a lot today, and that was just what I needed. I feel so very connected to her and am relieved to know that I've confessed my fears about my appointment to someone, especially someone who is the person I've known the longest and best in my life. Big time thank you, God, for giving me the mother I have and the wisdom to appreciate her for the unique and wonderful person she is.
Out of the blue (which is fast becoming his trademark), K pops up in Yahoo while I'm reading and posting to my eDiets board. Turns out that he replied to my message back on Friday, or claims that he did. I think that I have to believe him because I know that I keep thinking the worst of that whole situation, which might not be fair. In any case, I asked him about the question I'd posed in regards to his concern about his brother finding out about us chatting and he said that he was only concerned about the occasional topic of our conversations, not the conversations themselves. Again, I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt and believe him. I just don't feel dishonesty coming from him, but then, I suppose that's the point, isn't it?
S is getting ready for his first "crossing the equator" ceremony. It's a hazing thing done on board ships for newbies who are on their first cruise. Details are clouded (probably for the best, really) but involve humiliation in the name of male bonding. If this was a female bonding thing, it would involve chocolate, chick flicks, shopping, unapologetic pampering, and, possibly, champagne, but men just never seem to lose the desire to embarrass the heck out of their buddies. Why is that? I am missing that Y chromosome so I'm sure I will never fully understand, but any male that can post a suitable explanation gets extra brownie points from me.
Alright, I'm off to get ready for bed. I'll be back with another fascinating post tomorrow.
Sunday night. Well, the weekend's nearly over and Mom and I have had such a great time. You know, from a really low point while I was going through my divorce (which was a low point in my life just in general), my relationship with my mom has really changed and grown. She's like this person who knows me really well and understands what's gone before without my having to tell her. Yes, she can drive me absolutely batty sometimes, but she can also make me want to put my head in her lap and have her hold me and tell me that everything's going to be OK.
Yesterday, we went shopping (for clothes for Mom) then met my friend R and her 18 month old daughter for lunch at the mall food court. Unfortunately, we didn't have sunscreen on and both ended up with burns...me on my shoulders and Mom on her forearms. After that, we went down to the bay and walked. I did my usual 45 minute power walk and Mom walked at her own pace. It was very nice. Today we went to the 9:45am service at church and then to Starbucks for my latte fix. Mmmm. In the afternoon, we went down to Coronado for a walk along the Silver Strand. It has just been a gorgeous weekend, the sort that the ConVis people salivate over!
Out of the blue, I heard from my first Navy penpal, T, today. T is a chaplain on board a ship that is coming home from the Gulf and was the first response that I had to my message of support to the troops. I sent he and his shipmates, 400 of them, nearly 600 bags of microwave popcorn (at his request) that my team at work and I had raised money for, but I hadn't heard from him in several weeks, so I just figured he wasn't interested in corresponding any more now that he was on his way home. I forwarded him a link to a really neat PowerPoint presentation that was forwarded to me about the troops and their bravery and, lo and behold!, I heard from him. Apparently, the ship is just thrilled to bits with their popcorn and he is very grateful for my sending it.
Heard from S today, too. Busy day in Denise's email, honestly. Anyway, he's doing great but couldn't see the link to the PowerPoint because he doesn't have web access. Actually, it's such a cool thing that I'm going to post it here.
I'm really nervous about my appointment on Tuesday but, as Mom says, I'm going to try not to worry until (or if) I hear the actual bad news. No need to freak and stress when I don't know what's going on, you know? Of course, that's easier said than done. It will probably be the end of the week before I know the results of all of the tests. I can do this, I know I can! I don't have a choice because living in fear of something that I don't even know yet is not really living anyway.
