Monday, October 12, 2015

In search of

You might have noticed it's been a while since I last posted. (Ot not.) In the 42 days since my last post, I have regained another 13 pounds, putting me 33 pounds above the lowest weight I achieved (145) in June 2014. My body fat is just over 32% which actually isn't much above the top of the recommended range for my age but it's 6% above where I was 16 months ago. I keep trying to find the magic answer to the question "what will it take to get me back where I was?" but it seems to elude me.
  • I consulted another dietician who told me that my diet choices (when I'm not binge eating) look pretty healthy and don't need any changes but that I should try to eat closer to 1600 calories a day instead of the 1600-1800 I'd been targeting
  • I had a Dexa body scan, with Kay Lynn, and found that my resting metabolic rate is just above 1500 calories a day, meaning that with my consistent daily physical activity where it is, I should be eating about 1800 calories a day most days and as many as 2800 on super-active days
  • I signed up (and paid in advance for) a 10 week high intensity, slow resistance training class at work; I have not attended once because I got scared off by the orientation when the instructor pushed me to failure on each of the machines
  • I quit my Weight Watchers online membership because I didn't feel I was getting anything out of it
Given the results I have seen since my last post and the horrible, uncomfortable way I feel in my body - to say nothing of the humiliating way it feels not being able to fit into my undergarments, I decided to re-join Weight Watchers. I attended my first meeting today and, while I didn't love that particular class - wrong leader, wrong classmates - I did love the feeling of being back in my "losing routine". I'm tracking what I eat, adding resistance training and some additional cardio options on top of my daily 16,000 steps, and waiting to see what the scale says in a week.

Today is my 48th birthday and I'm not happy with the way I feel, but I'm more hopeful than I have been in a long time that I can turn this around and start making better choices. I have worked WAY too hard to let this get away from me now.