Monday, February 27, 2012

Living Dangerously. Or not

There was a time when no one knew about this blog and I used to write fearlessly, confident that no one would ever see it so it didn't matter. Then a few people knew about it but I didn't know any of them in real life and they didn't seem to mind when I spewed my raw emotions all over the electronic page, so I still wrote fearless. Heck, I used to confide things here that I wouldn't tell my very best friend even if we were both drunk and telling all of our secrets. I used to love knowing that I could come home from work and get everything out of my head and onto the page. My blog was cheap therapy and it really worked.

Then I started meeting with some of the people who read my blog and that changed things a little. And my husband reads occasionally now. It's pretty easy to find your way here from my Facebook page, too, and everyone in my real life seems to be on Facebook, so they could be reading, too. The final nail in the coffin of my glorious outlet here was when Candace, my 19 year old college student, told me that she reads sometimes, too. I can't put my garbage here if Candace is going to read it. I can't.

So I've stopped writing about everything and anything. Actually, I've pretty much stopped writing here completely. Why bother when I can't write about what I really want to write about?

I've thought about creating a new blog, an anonymous blog, possibly even a locked AND anonymous blog, but it wouldn't be the same. I like the long-time readers I've had and I love this little place on the Internet because it's such a part of me. It might not be the emotional release that it used to be, but it's mine.

Over the next few weeks, I'm going to think about what I want to do so that I can fall back in love with writing (and potentially spend a bit more time here, too), but in the meantime let me leave you with a few of the pictures I took while I was at Blissdom last week. I'll write a real conference post at some point because it was really life-changing, but the pictures will have to do for now.



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Right now it's time to finish dinner and play with my puppy dog. If you're still reading then you're among the very select group of people that I count among my dearest (blog) friends and you are appreciated more than you will ever know. Be well and know that I'll be back very soon. Very soon.

6 comments:

Strong_Focus said...

I think you have to do what makes you happy - if blogging is your therapy, maybe you do need to find a more secure way to do it. Password protected for longtime readers, by request only?

I hope you figure it out.

neca said...

I totally understand! I know, I've gotten a lot more selective about what I post on my blog.

Wendy Staley Einhorn said...

Ah the dilemma. I've been going through the same thing. I've had my blog for a long, long, long time. It's been very neglected lately. Just like you, I'm trying to decide what to do with it. Various people I had NO idea were reading it, telling me they had been reading it. And I'm not exactly happy about some of those revelations.

I'm sure you'll figure out what's right for YOU, and that's all anyone can ask for.

luxelifestyle said...

Don't you hate feeling censored in your own creative space? This is MY blog...I want to write what I want to say and what's on my mind and heart. But then the "fear" of hurt feelings or being "exposed" to how you REALLY feel about certain people or situations. On the flip side isn't it also a great feeling knowing that the people that are closest to you care enough to take the time to go to your blog (they actually remember what its called??? :)) and read your posts. I have YET to have that happen but I'm sure that day will come.
XO julie @ eyesfullofpretty

Heather said...

I think you are important and should do what is important to you. If you are lead to share - do! I would love to read it! But at least continue to take pictures. Those were amazing too! Hugs to you!

Kelly Sauer said...

This is a dilemma I know way too well. It is one of the reasons I have three blogs. I needed to stage the levels of my brand when I gained a new crop of readers last year.

So I have my main blog, which is pretty much just me and what goes on in my life and my business, my photography blog (curated photos only) to go with my wedding photography business (and not overwhelm my poor clients with too much Kelly at once), and my faith journal, which is where I write when I really have to get something off my chest. I have different audiences at all three blogs, and I choose not to watch my traffic on ANY of them.

(LOL, I have a writing blog too, under a pseudonym, but that's on the shelf for now...)

Whatever you do, just be you. I think that's all people are really looking for anyway. Your best story is going to come from you, not from what you think you should write. :-)

 
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