Thursday, July 21, 2011

I just don't know

I keep thinking that I could be writing here about what's going on in my life, but I just don't feel like it.

The depression is so very strong right now and has been for weeks, possibly even months. I don't want to do anything except for those moments that I want to do everything all at once, immediately. That's the "gift" of being mildly manic except that it eventually dissolves into frustration and further depression when even limitless ambition and energy are not enough to make the changes I so desperately want and need.

I find no pleasure in my online activities now and, in fact, I find them somewhat draining. Everyone has so much energy and so many great things going on. And I don't.

The diabetes is kicking my butt. I don't want to count my carbs. I don't want to take my blood sugar every few hours. Oh, it's not completely out of control like it was just a few months ago, but it's also not in tight control. It's all just too exhausting and I'm fed up.

So I'm going to take a little break from my online life...at least a couple of weeks. Ironically, I'm registered for BlogHer here in San Diego in a couple of weeks; I'm not sure whether I'll actually attend or not.

Anyway, no Twitter and no blogging for me for a bit and we'll see if the desire to write returns. I haven't been reading blogs for months, so I'm going to go ahead and make that part of my official hiatus, too. If something too exciting for me to miss happens, feel free to drop me a line at lottalatte (at) gmail (dot) com

3 comments:

Cammy said...

Sometimes it helps a lot to take a step back and reassess, especially when energy reserves are low. The most important thing now (and always) is to use your energy to take care of YOU.

Shauna said...

take care matey... look after your lovely self xxox

Melissa said...

Do what you need to do to take care of you. I deal with a little depression myself but nowhere near the scope of what you do, I imagine, so I cannot imagine how hard that must be. I'm rooting for you!