Tuesday, August 24, 2010

How can I lead anyone when I'm not sure what I'm doing myself???

It's funny to think about the fact that I'm a Project Manager at work - leading projects with lots of intelligent people involved - and a Committee Chair for the Junior League - leading a team tasked with planning a very large fund raising event, and some mornings I question whether I should even bother taking a shower. Depression is such a soul-sucking disorder and, even though I'm apparently bi-polar, I spend much of my life as it stands now fighting just to keep myself on the rails, much less helping others get where we're supposed to go.

And yet I do. I get up every morning, cry or scream or kick my feet or whatever it takes to make me overcome the desire to get back in bed and cover my head with the coverlet, go in to work, and do some pretty decent work in terms of getting important projects finished on time with good quality and reporting status to those interested.

I do similar things with the various positions I've held for the Junior League, too, but tonight is the first meeting of my new committee and I'm fighting the urge to run anywhere except my meeting. I need to pick up dinner for the three of us (the small size of my team in comparison to the size of the event we're putting on probably has something to do with my ennui), plus grab my personal computer from home (I have several important documents for the committee stored only there - gah), then run down to San Diego (I live about 15 miles north of San Diego) to get things set up and lead a meeting for which I haven't established a goal/objective yet. I do have an agenda but I don't really know what I want to accomplish other than meeting the other committee members, making sure they know what we need to do this year, and see how motivated they are to contribute to everything that has to be done this year. Maybe that's enough of a goal for now? Gosh, I hope so.

On a completely unrelated note, I have to share that I am SO MUCH happier now that I've pretty much stopped visiting weight loss blogs. I think it was Ginger who gave me that advice and, as always, she was right. No more feeling guilty for not living up to what other people are doing, I'm just living my life the very best way that I can and letting that be enough. On the other hand, I did just register for FitBloggin' 11 and hope that some of you might do so as well. (Can't link to Lori because I don't want her to be the victim of drive-by trolling, but I want her to go, too!) The lovely and talented Shauna will be there, I have a room that will accommodate at least four of us...don't you want to come, too??? I know we would all have a really good time and Baltimore is just chock-o-block full of opportunities to get out and about, so give it some thought?

4 comments:

Cammy said...

I think that's a fine goal for the first meeting. Who are we and where are we going? :)

I'm thinking about Fitbloggin', but I don't know what the employment situation will be next year. We'll see.

MargieAnne said...

Hi Denise. I think you are amazing to keep going through all the bad feelings.

Good idea to stop reading weight loss Blogs. I waste far too much time. *giggle* *oops*

gingersnapper said...

"...and, as always, she was right."

There. I have it in writing. I AM ALWAYS RIGHT. Let lesser mortals beware.

I'm a lot happier too since I stopped reading blogs that piss me off :) Such a simple idea, I don't know why it took so long to occur to me. We always say "everyone's entitled to their opinion," but we forget the corollary, which is "But I don't have to listen to it."

I'll think about this FitBloggin thing. Could be fun...

Lori said...

I really hope I get to go. It will be so much fun! I highly subscribe to the stop reading if I'm just getting annoyed. Even really popular bloggers, if I can't take it, I just remove them from my reader. It's like changing the channel.