Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Hello Darkness my old friend

The depression is back and better than ever. I've been on the generic Wellbutrin for a month now and it's gone completely off the rails since I was forced to switch (because the co-pay for the real thing would be - and I'm totally serious here - $160 per month) from the real thing. I have all of the unpleasant side effects - constant sweating, constantly having to fight off the need to sleep, constipation, and having trouble remembering commonplace words and names of friends - with no relief from the symptoms of depression that I'm supposedly taking it to help. Hopeless, desperate, and sad...that's how I feel. So I'm going off the drug completely, which means 10 days of weaning my body off of it and then, well, I don't know what I'll do once I'm done. I know I don't want to try another antidepressant: I know what works for me (name-brand Wellbutrin), I just can't afford it. Try to increase the frequency of my meetings with my therapist from once a month to something approaching once a week? Give St. John's Wort a try? I don't know.

I can barely keep my eyes open and yet I need to pick up one of the kids from my house then head to the Junior League house for my Fund Development Council meeting tonight before I take him back to his home. I can't wait for the generic Wellbutrin to clear my system so that I can just be depressed and not depressed AND exhausted!

4 comments:

missy said...

Ugh, that stinks. I'm sorry to hear that. :(

JessiferSeabs said...

This terrifies me. I have been on wellbutrin in the past with amaing results -- but off for over a year. Just went back on and they gave me the generic, and my symptoms are similar to the ones you describe above.

Hope that when I adjust, I'll go back to the OLD wellbutrin side effects -- namely, energy and weight loss....

XO,
Jess

gingersnapper said...

Damn, Denise, that just really sucks. It seems like the best and obvious solution is to find a way to stay on the Wellbutrin. If you can stay out of the clutches of the depression, then you've got a fighting chance to accomplish whatever else you want in life. Can you and TCB brainstorm some way to come up with the money? Sell something? Cancel a service? I don't know what to suggest, it's lean times all around.

I hope you find a solution - xoxo

Melissa said...

Oh man--how awful. I agree with Ginger...if the name brand was working well for you, isn't it worth it to find the money and perhaps cut out something else in your life? I know I'm probably asking the impossible but it's the first thing I thought of as well. I imagine mental health would be a top priority?
I'm sorry you deal with this.