Sunday, May 02, 2010
It's just about making a different choice, over and over again
So, I'm about six weeks from my next doctor's appointment and I'd really like my A1c test to show some progress (so that my doctor doesn't increase my diabetes medication again - I'm still trying to get used to the side effects from the LAST increase). I was thinking about the sad state of things in my food intake lately (poor choices, huge portions, nearly no fruit or veggies) and what that's going to look like for my blood test results (hint: not good). Then I thought to myself, "What if I didn't binge this morning?" "What if I found something else to do rather than eat for the 2-3 hours I have alone in the morning after Al the Pug wakes up at 4:30 am and before TCB get up?" And, for more than just a moment, I thought perhaps I would do just that...but then the hours drifted by and I was so bored and Al was whining and barking in his crate and I just couldn't take it anymore: I ran to the car, drove through fast food, and binged for an hour. I am so disgusted and angry, but I know that there was another path I could have taken...can still take whenever I'm ready enough.