Saturday, May 22, 2010

Is this how normal people feel?

I'm not positive, but I think the Wellbutrin might be working. I had really worried about going on an antidepressant because I'd heard horror stories about how you never felt any emotions of any sort while you were medicated, but that's definitely not how I feel. It's hard to describe for someone who's never been depressed, but the best way I can express it is that I'm not fighting back the darkness all the time. Also, the constant stream of worrying thoughts in my head has pretty much stopped. Seriously. I've gone my entire adult life thinking this was normal...that everyone had a rolling screen of "don't enjoy anything because something bad is about to happen"

Holy crap, Batman, we just had a MAJOR freakin' earthquake and I hope it was centered nearby because otherwise some other town is in a whole lot of trouble. Got to go figure out what just happened...brb. (Few minutes later) OK, it was down in Baja California again, about 100 miles from here and a 5.1 preliminary magnitude. House keeps shaking, though, and the cords on my blinds are still swaying back and forth. Yucky.

How funny that an earthquake hit just as I was writing about how I'm not constantly obsessing about bad things that might happen, huh? Life is strange.

Anyway, I don't feel super high or super low and the heightened sense of anxiety I was feeling for the first four days on Wellbutrin has gone away, so that's a good thing. I don't see a lessening of my urge to binge eat and I'm still doing it pretty much 24/7, but having the depression gone is worth taking the medication for on its own.

Shoot, I need to put clothes on and get to the farmers market so that I can return the strawberry baskets from our last visit and also pick up some fruit and vegetables (and maybe some organic cheese, too).

Oh wait, I have to tell you about the awesomeness going on in our own garden, too:
* Three luscious blackberries harvested
* Snap pea plants now trained up 5' climbing structure (and they're nearly to the top!)
* Lots of green beans have suddenly burst forth and I've got to figure out how to know when they're ready to be eaten
* One of the two eggplants is finally starting to grow larger AND it's got blooms coming, too
* I think we might have to open a pickled cucumber business because all of the cucumber plants are both growing AND blooming
* Chamomile plant has got lovely yellow flowers bursting out all over and is growing like a weed
* Both of the parsley plants are looking ravishing and will be taken advantage of for dish decoration when I am finally motivated enough to cook a proper meal
* I regretfully snapped all of the beautiful flowers off of the blue basil plant after reading that you're not meant to let them bloom otherwise they stop growing and put all of their energy into flowering (they were SO beautiful and smelled amazing)

OK, this time I'm really going - more later.

5 comments:

Cammy said...

I've heard mixed commentary on Welbutrin, which is typical for most meds. So glad you're feeling better from it!

Friend of the Bear said...

Hi Denise. Glad that you've found something that's making you feel better.

Thank you for the comment you left on my blog. Very sweet of you! And true that designers don't have it right for big girls.

Bearfriend xx

JessiferSeabs said...

I've been MIA from your blog for a long time (computer died, new computer, lost a lot of links, etc), but stumbled upon you again. I have to say that I was on WEllbutrin on and off for two years and absolutely adored it. Id idn't go on it for depression issues, rather for smoking cessation purposes, but found the side effects to be incredible -- namely, more energy, less anxiety, better focus, dealt better with the horrible MN winter (it is supposed to be a treatment for SAD), and all of that was in the midst of a horrible breakup, which probably WOULD have caused me a lot of situational depression. Anyway, interested to hear your thoughts about it! I lost about 10 lbs in the first month I was on it, solely because I had so much friggin' energy that if I didn't work out like a fiend, I couldn't sleep.

Glad to be back reading!

MargieAnne said...

Hi. Glad to hear the pills are helping. I envy you your garden It's winter ...

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Blessings

mumtotwo said...

sound good girl!