Friday, March 05, 2010

Day 41, forever to go - Sanity

I've been in an eating free-for-all for days now. I've been keeping up with my activity but in no way will that be enough to save me from the mother of all gains this week, but I'm not sure how I feel about that.

Part of me wants to say, "Crack down, get back at it...this weight loss stuff is serious business, girly girl," but then another part of me rebels and says that life is too short to be serious and uptight about food. And there has to be some middle ground. Yes, I'm diabetic and I do need to watch what I eat and probably keep track of carbs forever, but does that mean eating inside a little tiny box (both literally and figuratively) for the rest of my life? I don't want my food to come out of a box. I don't want heavy sauces on everything with every meal. Sometimes I just want to grill up some chicken, add some asparagus, and maybe some brown rice, and call it dinner.

I feel schizophrenic, like I can't make up my mind and just keep bouncing between ideas. But I think maybe that's healthy? Maybe I'm supposed to change up the way I think about eating as I learn more? I do know that the binge eating has got to stop - now! - so for the next few days I'm going to eat 1800 calories or less per day, keep my carbs to 230 or less per day/80 or less per meal, and work out for a minimum of 30 minutes a day (I'm hoping for at least 45 a day but 30 is my minimum), and we'll see how that goes.

3 comments:

Tricia said...

I think our eating modifies as we learn more about our options and our bodies.

Have a great weekend!

gingersnapper said...

Just hang on baby! Life isn't all-or-nothing, any sane person has days of confidence and days of questioning. Keep your eyes on the longer-term goals and don't let a day or even a week derail you.

This is why I threw away the scale. Anyone who's weighed themselves regularly knows how unreliable it is. There are so many factors that influence your weight at any given moment, including the accuracy of the instrument. When you think about it, you can't expect something you bought at Target for $29.95 (or even $129.95) to be accurate within 2 ounces when it's measuring something that weighs 200 pounds. Focus on how you're feeling overall and make that your motivation.

I hear you about the binge-eating. I think I just did that for the first time in life, these past few days, from all the stress. Can't say it helped me anyway, I just got a sugar hangover and a cloudy mind. If that's the result I might as well stick with martinis.

Anonymous Fat Girl said...

Hey girl, I know how you feel. Sometimes it is a little frustrating and you just want to do what you want to do! Right? :)

Just hang in there and keep on with it. Make it so you can eat this way always. If you're being too strict it may derail you. At least that always happens to me anyway.

You know there is this guy that lost 100 lbs and he goes to my gym. He's really hot. Anyway, he only eats carbs in the first half of the day and swears by it. I've wondered if there's anything to it... I have to be careful with my carbs too or I tend to overeat.