Thursday, March 04, 2010

Day 40, 223 to go - Getting over it, getting serious

In the last few days, I had come to think that it would be possible for me to get a little "flexible" with my eating program - i.e., eat off program every once in a while - and I've realized that a little freedom can be a dangerous thing. I had a dry (no mayo) turkey sandwich from Panera for dinner last night along with some organic pinto beans, and a banana last night, and this morning my feet are tingling (which we know from our lesson on diabetes yesterday is NOT a good sign). Too many carbs and too many calories. I weighed myself and I'm up nearly four pounds from Sunday...some of that will be water weight because TTOM is coming along any moment now, but there is real weight gain there, too, and it's because I'm not sticking with the program. I'm also not getting enough exercise. Or drinking enough water.

So the question is: am I serious about losing weight and taking better care of myself, or is this just another failed attempt that I can add to the pile? Even if I hadn't lost a pound, I had been feeling so much better since starting this program. My back and hips no longer hurt. Yoga is much easier (less stomach to work around). I don't feel good this morning, though. If I stick with this program faithfully - including the 2,000 calories a week burned through exercise - I will be at my goal weight by my birthday in October (that's the "to go" number in my post titles). I know this for certain. The weight will come off quickly and I will be able to start dealing with weight maintenance instead of weight loss.

But I just don't know if I can stick it. This is the most restrictive diet I've ever done for this long. I tried South Beach and gave up after three days, for instance. And I worry that even if I manage to stick with it another 223 days that this isn't teaching me anything about nutrition or meal planning, both of which I'm going to need if I'm going to maintain this change for the rest of my life. I don't know. I do know, however, that I need to go for a 30 minute walk so that I can start turning the scale around whatever my decision about diet is, so I'll think about it while I'm walking and be back tomorrow.

4 comments:

Jessica - cbgblog said...

Thank you so much for the message. That is great to hear about your mom... she is a trooper!

I know, that is why I don't really think about the negative because it doesn't help anyone and you lose out on precious time.

Again, THANKS :)

chrissie said...

I think the questions that you asked are important questions. You know if you're ready to commit.

lisah said...

OK, I am no one to be giving advice, heck I can't stick to a diet for a week and in the end only you can make the decision if this will be a failed attempt or if you will go forward however...I think you need to concentrate on one day at a time...thinking 223 days ahead to maintenance is waaayyy to much to think about...my thought is you take one day at a time. Do your best to stick to the program (or any program) but take each day as it comes, if you ate a bit too much at lunch walk 15 minutes longer or take two bites less at dinner. I wish I had a magic wand for both of us, but I don't. You have done great so far and you are so worth it! Whatever you decide to do we will be here for you!

Sunny said...

too bad you gave up on South Beach after 3 days, because the 4th day is when the cravings leave. What plan are you on?