Wednesday, February 03, 2010

Day 11, 255 to go - If ever there was a good reason to binge...

Yesterday was a really hard day. I walked into the office in the morning that a colleague had died unexpectedly - at work, no less - the night before. I cried and tried to make sense of it, then pulled it together so that I could get things done. Then, later in the afternoon, I found out I might be taking a substantial pay cut due to changes in my responsibilities. A pay cut substantial enough to make it very difficult for us to pay our mortgage. Major internal freaking out ensued. I was supposed to go to a Junior League committee meeting but got halfway home and realized I couldn't hold it together any longer...I just lost it. I collapsed on the couch. I cried while I rocked back and forth. I shivered with a cold that only I could feel. I asked God why He took Rich instead of me. I sent my committee chair a message that I wouldn't be at the meeting and then I was still.

And I didn't binge.

I wanted to eat Mexican food until my eyes turned brown, but I didn't. I knew that it wouldn't bring Rich back, wouldn't put more money into my bank account, and would, in point of fact, make me fatter which would make me less marketable (sorry, but it's true) if I have to go out and find a new job. So I heated two entrees (don't worry, it's not just allowed on my program, it's encouraged), 2 cups mixed veggies, and tossed a salad with some yummy dressing (70 calories for 2 tablespoons) while I waited for the microwave. Then I ate dinner. TCB came home just as I was finishing and I told him about my day while I cried some more. He reassured me about the pay cut thing (we ought to be able to supplement our income from savings at least for a little while) and then said, "Let's take a little walk with Al after dinner." And we did. We walked for 30 minutes with the little beggar pulling me along at a pretty fast clip (3.5 mph) and then I came home to have a pudding before bed. That's progress, people.

Thank you to everyone who submitted suggestions for my fitness class challenge. Tomorrow and next Thursday nights I will attend Cardio Polynesian Dance then report back on my adventure; should be interesting.

2 comments:

Shauna said...

oh denise... i'm so sorry. what a rubbish day... but well done on not binging, you are a strong cookie!

neca said...

Just wanted to say terrific! Sounds like things are going well!