Sunday, January 03, 2010

So cliche and so true

I started this journal as part of an attempt to lose weight and make myself happy. I'm no longer looking for happiness from the numbers on my scale and so I stopped writing here. However...

My lower back hurts. My hips hurt. I couldn't walk the entire 3-Day because I'm so unfit. I don't want to deal with the drama of losing weight again (I've lost and re-gained over 100 pounds three separate times) and I'm also not willing to accept that I'm going to be in pain for whatever is left of my life. So. So?

Here are the facts...I am:
42 years old
5 foot 3 inches tall
240.2 pounds
51 inch waist

I can't do anything about the first two, but I most certainly can about the third and fourth. I don't know what my plan of action is but I know things must change. I'd really like to hook this all up somehow with my Lead a Healthy Life Project (which has been on a major hiatus of late) so that I can deal with my well-being (or lack thereof) in a holistic way. We'll see. For now, it's enough that I'm putting a stake in the ground, drawing a line in the sand, and am ready to change.

*Gulp*

5 comments:

MargyB said...

Denise,

I've followed your blog for several years and sent you an email maybe 2-3 years ago about my similar journey. I had a duodenal switch gastric bypass 8 years ago and am finally off of the "lose weight and gain it all back and more" merry go round. You sent me a brief note at the time that surgery wasn't an option for you which I understand. I would still encourage you to read a bit more about the duodenal switch surgery. The best part is the freedom from worry about weight. I've been within 10 lbs of the same weight for about 6 years now.

Best to you,

Margy

Hopeful said...

You Rock Denise! I'm glad you're writing again.

Hilly said...

I am so glad to see you here. :)

Last year I told myself that all I wanted was to take baby steps to being healthier. Like you, I've lost and gained over and over so I figured that slowly would be the way to do it this time.

I lost 30 pounds in 2009 without really even knowing how. I hope you have a healthy 2010!

agategoddess said...

You can do it Denise! I'm right with you, starting down the path again but this time it's going to stick...I just know it!

Avant-Garde said...

seriously look into the stomach reducing approach (there are quite a few). I have never seen that fail! Best to you however it all goes :-)