Thursday, August 07, 2008

...but you don't know me

Hello happy reader people! Today is my Friday (I'm out of the office tomorrow) and I'm enjoying the heck out of it - hope you're all having a good day, too, wherever you might be. *Waving at my darling husband, floating on a ship*

I was reading the comments of a super-popular blogger today and it hit me that there are people who think they have relationships with this person - REAL relationships - when they've never met her. Or, if they have, it was for 15 seconds at a book signing or blog conference or something like that. Two things struck me:

1. How creepy it must be to have people writing to you as though you just had coffee in your kitchen this morning when you wouldn't know them if they came to your door?*

2. Wow, I'm so lucky to have normal people reading and commenting at my journal!**

* Do people still have coffee in friends' kitchens or is that just me channelling Mad Men?
** Actually, I'm so lucky to have people reading what I write, period - it still sort of amazes me and I know TCB's still trying to figure it out. :-)

We all share what we want people to see or what we need to get off of our chests on our blogs - it's not a full picture of who we are. Some - many, I would guess, given the number of "books by bloggers" I see spewing forth on Amazon - are trying out material for their novel and are not so much writing about their lives as they are a character in a book who happens to share the same name. Don't get me wrong, I'm not knocking the practice and it certainly makes for interesting reading, you just wouldn't want to make the mistake of thinking it's somehow connecting you psychically with the author.

I don't know where I'd intended this to go when I started, other than to say that we all reserve a part of ourselves that only our real-life friends and family know. No matter how many heartfelt entries I've posted here about trauma and drama in my real life, it's still not all of me. (You wouldn't want to know all of me...trust me on this.)

Also, life should primarily be lived OFF of the computer with the best parts of the day enjoyed when all of the senses are involved. With my husband on a ship 5,000 miles away, I send pictures and silly text messages and leave him voice mails just because all in an attempt to convey the little moments of reality throughout my day...and even all of that's not adequate. I cannot express how much I look forward to sitting in traffic again with my husband, to arguing about which couch to buy for the living room (oh, and what do you think of these, Dear? - http://www.target.com/gp/detail.html/ref=pd_luc_14_lc_a3527911x33_r3c1_a1_txt/601-1859147-1046513?ie=UTF8&shuc=hucrvi1txt&asin=B001343KEK and http://www.target.com/Floral-Upholstered-Chair-Oasis/dp/B000U0ISWM/ref=in_pe_recently-viewed-items_2/601-1859147-1046513), and to feeling guilty about not spending enough time doing things that he enjoys.

Real life is just that - real. Hold on to those precious, crazy-making, joyful, sad, REAL moments because they're what makes it all worth while.

6 comments:

Jenn said...

That's the thing about internet trolls that I don't get - it's like they truly don't understand that what people write is just a tiny, tiny, TINY part of themselves and their life. And it might not even be true or remotely accurate. So I have to laugh at how nasty and creepy people get, thinking that they know so much about this person - whether they like the blogger or despise them.

Shauna said...

Amen to that! It can get rather scary when the reader takes it more seriously than you do, not realising that you only blog about 0.5% of your life.

(Your last sentence just killed me... so so true)

your ever-faithful but not overly familiar reader,
shauna :)

kitty said...

I've been blessed with a nice small group of awesome people who read my blog - probably because I do absolutely NOTHING to promote it - I write it for me and the people who read it are a GREAT bonus!! (especially for someone like me who always had trouble keeping a journal because I thought it was silly that I was the only one who would ever read it) haaaa

I may have some whack jobs lurking about - but as long as they keep quiet they don't bother me hehehe

but I do read a couple much more popular blogs than mine, with a reader or two with boundary and manner issues - they ARE a bit of a bummer

Dad24Cats said...

Well at least people read your blog. I doubt people read mine but I would have to update more often. My life is really boring.

Then there is my wife who says she feels guilty about not doing things I enjoy. Well going to Costa Rica with a good friend to dive is once in a lifetime thing. So I will take those once in a lifetime things then a whole little things.

People think life is boring but if you really opened your eyes you would see your life is amazing. The little things that you do everyday that other people can't. Try to look at your life through another pair of eyes and you will see it in a new life.

MARLA said...

I totally get what you're saying, I've noticed it too on some blogs. At the same time I have to say that I feel like I have real friendships with a few people, through blogging. They're a limited type of relationship, certainly. I suppose it's like being pen pals or something.

I try to write entirely as "me" on my blog, but naturally I also try to present my best self and leave out most of those unflattering things. So I think people do see a real side of me, but as you say it's just a tiny piece.

Trish said...

Hey girl, I was looking at that couch last week...online of course. We don't have Target in Canada.