Friday, December 28, 2007

Love Your Body: It's about taking care of myself

I was watching a TV show last night called "Super Obese" when it hit me: I don't take care of myself. I know, I know...this should be self-evident, but the new connection came as I stared at the folks on the program and noticed that they all had terrible teeth. I wondered idly if people with bad teeth are more predisposed to morbid obesity or if people with morbid obesity just let everything about themselves go (including their teeth). That was the AHa moment. I am letting myself go, too.

I've had a dental problem that has disfigured my smile for months now...possibly close to a year. What's worse, if it's not treated, I'll lose some or all of my teeth. Do I have an appointment? No, I do not. I start to hyperventilate when I even think about going to the dentist (which, of course, is why I have the problem in the first place).

I have moles or marks that are very "suspicious" looking. My mother's had to have several moles removed over the years. Have a made an appointment with a dermatologist? Heck no because then I might have to deal with something difficult and you KNOW that can't happen.

It all goes on and on, and that's what caught my attention...the pattern is all about not wanting to face unpleasantness (the pain of working out, feeling hungry and nauseated for weeks at the beginning of a diet, and having to work to fix meals instead of just driving through) which just leads to more unpleasantness (being fat, unregulated diabetes, recurring yeast infections - TMI, I know, depression, and self-loathing) and more unpleasantness just makes me want to lie here and ignore it all. But, of course, that's what does it, isn't it? The ignoring of what my body needs.

Ignorance is bliss? I think not.

2 comments:

The Fat Bridesmaid said...

Hi Denise...I feel like I've just finished one of those honking 20 page papers that we English majors had to write in college! I found your blog yesterday and have read it, from start to finish, in the last twenty four hours. What a journey you've had, girlie! I feel drained from reading it...and all I did was read it...I wasn't the one who had to go through all of it! I admire you...I truly do.

Like you, I have about 120 pounds to lose. When I was reading the things that you wrote, I could have almost cried...it was like I wrote them myself. When does it end? When do we finally get ourselves organized? When do we get to stop fighting? It seems like a battle that I'm never going to win.

Well, here's to new year's resolutions! Take care of yourself.

Christy

M@rla said...

Poor little Denise! I know just what you're going through, I like to ignore things also. I think part of the problem is that I inflate the direness beyond all recognition; I envision the entire spectrum of every bad thing that COULD happen, and then I'm facing surgery, medical expenses, a fatal illness, selling my house to pay my bills and living in the shelter. Instead of just, like, a doctor's appointment where they burn off a mole. Of course I want to avoid it!

I know you can do this in baby steps. And I wish you could go to my dentist, who is so nice it's almost FUN to go there. No stress. There must be one like that in California.

p.s. I'm sorry your 40th went by without my quite catching on. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CHICKIE!!!