Thursday, June 01, 2006

I need help

Thursday morning. Although I can't articulate what it is that I need from TCB on this little journey to better health, I know that I need his help. I also know that it will be an awkward conversation and that I will blunder through it and miss things and blather on in my nervousness and, if I am not careful, lose my entire message in my discomfort and misery. Perhaps I should write it all down and then send it to him in an email? Do you think that would be too, um, weird? I fear that it will not happen at all otherwise and I don't think I can ultimately get back on track without his understanding what I'm doing, why, and how, and what that means to him. Perhaps if I laid it out in the form of a written proposal? He gets lots of those through work and I'm pretty sure he'll know how to respond (I cannot say the same for my garbled attempts to explain in person).

Maybe if I give him a copy of the written proposal and then read it to him while I explain why I need what I need? Will someone please tell me this is OK???

9 comments:

snackiepoo said...

First of all, definitely write it down and try to memorize it BUT if you can't then hellyeah, take the paper with you and just tell him that you know you are a dork for having to look at your notes but you wanted to make sure to get everything out there and this is the only way to do it.

There is NOTHING wrong with telling your partner what you need as long as you don't blame them along the way.

JessiferSeabs said...

I wholeheartedly think that writing down your thoughts, if for no other reason than to help YOURSELF organize them, is a fantastic idea. Sometimes when I'm way overwhelmed about something that I need to share with Chris, I'll write it down and read it to him - also, because I feel like I convey my feelings much better in writing than on the spur of the moment.

As far as asking for help... it's hard; it's humbling; it sucks. But I do it all the time, and those who love us want to be there to hold us up when we're falling.

Sometimes even verbalizing what I need is enough; Chris doesn't even have to do much, just the fact that I've spoken outloud what my demons and struggles are makes them forefront in my mind.

Hugs,
Jess

Bluegrass Mama said...

Writing down, sure. Email, no, as it's pretty impersonal. I'd present it either by snail mail (handwritten) or in person. Either way, good luck!

LibrarianOnTheLoose said...

I say hell yah write a proposal --just get it out however you can get it out, and get it to him. Don't worry about presentation. If you are worried about looking impersonal or something by sending written information, then at the end stick an offer to talk to it in person after he's read it.

M@rla said...

Yep, definitely write it out. It will help you clarify your thoughts, and prevent the conversation from wandering off into confusing side issues. I think email is definitely too impersonal, but you're the one who knows TCB best. Me, I would give it to him on paper, in person. You need to have a conversation about this, and you can't do that unless you're both there.

Good luck girlie!

Mamato2boys said...

Writing it out is perfect. It helps you keep on topic and remember all the points you need to make. I have sent email about very serious things because it made it easier to make sure that I got all my points accross and was not swayed by his reactions to my thoughts. Of course if it is in email I would try to be there when he read it. Any way you do it, just do it. Put yourself out there. He loves you and wants to help you love yourself. He just needs to be told how. Boys are very simple that way. Tell them how to fix and they fix.

take care sweets!
Ang

Shannin said...

I think you can totally write it down and either read it or just give it to him. I think he will realize it's from your heart, and that's the important thing.

brent said...

hi denise. i'm with everyone who says the email might not be the best of ideas. on the other hand, sometimes my girl likes to send me (or hand me) a card that also has a hand written message inside. i like that. a lot of times we will talk all about what she wrote right after she gives me the card, but her writting it down before hand helps her to get it out exactly how she wants it. i think the proposal would not be the best idea but like someone else said, you know TCB the best so do what you feel is right. good luck!!

brent said...

hi denise. i'm with everyone who says the email might not be the best of ideas. on the other hand, sometimes my girl likes to send me (or hand me) a card that also has a hand written message inside. i like that. a lot of times we will talk all about what she wrote right after she gives me the card, but her writting it down before hand helps her to get it out exactly how she wants it. i think the proposal would not be the best idea but like someone else said, you know TCB the best so do what you feel is right. good luck!!