Sunday, March 13, 2005

Can we believe in Happily Ever After?

Sunday morning. As the distance - both time and space - grows between New Orleans and here, I am growing less and less confident of everything that happened there. Perhaps I came on too strong and he said what he did just to get rid of me? But then I remember our talk and the way that he held me and I know that I won't really know the score until May. Was my first reaction right or is this budding fear/skepticism the truth? I just don't know.

I'm so totally afraid that he'll forget me, that it wasn't real, and that this will become just another nail in the coffin of my cockeyed optimism, my sunny belief that Love really does conquer all. I guess the only questiona that matters would are: is this man really worthy? Is he really as special as I think he is? If he's not, then none of this matters. If he is, then none of this matters, either.

So, where does this leave me? I'm adrift and confused, but then I read this on my Yahoo horoscope: "Frustration can be motivating. Don't give up -- prove the naysayers wrong." For me to give up would be to repudiate my heart, and I just cannot do that. I'd rather be hurt (again) than ever to admit that Love is not all that it's cracked up to be. If I use this fear as an opportunity to put the courage of my convictions to the test then I can come out the other end stronger and happier than ever, and that's just what I intend to do.

Was this once a weight loss site? Sheesh!

11 comments:

Michael said...

"Was this once a weight loss site?"

I guess that's just one of many wonderful things about a successful weight loss program. Without the constant, overwhelming preoccupation of weight, body image, etc.; other more important things can move to the forefront.

Crystal said...

You are just far too too special Denise for that to NOT shine through...any doubts just send him on over to your blog and you have a whole slew of people who think you ROCK!

deb said...

This reminds me of a brief affair I had when on a business trip to Chicago many years ago. I met THE most amazing man with gorgeous red hair and freckles (oh.my.god.the.passion.we felt.) and we were inseparable for 4 days. He lived in Maryland, I was in Tennessee...not that far away but at the time I had two small children and travel was not an option. We'd planned to see each other again, perhaps meeting in Virginia and spending a weekend together. After several weeks of emails and phone calls his finally came to a standstill. I did all the second-guessing I could but the truth was that what he really wanted was a girlfriend who lived close enough to him that he could actually touch. We finally stopped communicating but I never forgot him - the jerk lol.

My second long-distance romance was the real challenge, though, with 1200 miles between us. That one worked out and we've lived together nearly 3 years and plan to marry as soon as the ring is paid off lol ;~)

Good luck to you! It CAN be done. I hate to use the old cliche "if it's meant to be, it will be"..but it's true. Don't spend all that time questioning what's happened. Just enjoy it! It's a wonderful feeling knowing there is someone out there who finds us totally irresistible :)

Kris said...

Hi Denise!
Whenever I start second guessing myself like this, I remind myself that whether I look forward to the future with hope and optimism or assume the worst case scenario, either way--if it doesn't work out, I am going feel disappointed and sad. So, I figure, I'd much rather be hopeful and positive in the meantime and deal with the possibility that things won't go as I hoped then spend the here and now feeling lousy about it. You know what I mean? I always choose to believe in love. Sometimes I am right and sometimes I am wrong, but being optimisitc about it has never hurt me. :)
Kris

poopie said...

Ain't lurve grand?! I've been dropped on my heart a hundred times, but I still believe I will have a happily ever after....and so will you. ^j^

M@rla said...

It's so unlike you to second-guess yourself, Denise! Those must have been some ASSets!

I hope it all works out, but as the old saying goes, "there's more fish in the sea."

(This is why I am NOT a paid advice columnist)

Cori said...

Every single thing happens or does not happen for a reason. I swear by that!

Tania said...

It's good to believe in a happily ever after, but always remember that no other person determines your worth. You are a wonderful person, regardless of how this guy (or anyone) reacts to you.

If things don't work out, it's his loss. Thank goodness we don't just get one shot at love. :)

Ms Gigglepuss said...

Long distance is fuggin' hard! I've done it for about...ummm...2 years out of 5 with my bf now and it's finally ending this May. I am a fan of fairy tales, so it'd be great to see things work out for you, if that's what you want :)

Whatever happens, enjoy the ride!

Plantation said...

So it's NOT just me, is it? Love? Dating? None of it seems to make any sense anymore.

DaFFy said...

Hang in there Denise. Even if he's not the one? Far better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. Let him sort out his baggage, then it will be wonderful! Mainly because...YOU are wonderful!