Tuesday, February 22, 2005

Wondering aimlessly

Tuesday (late) afternoon. Do you ever wonder what your life is about? Certainly, this was a more frequent hobby of mine before I found several important things to focus my energy on, but it's still something I spend some time reflecting on. What do I want my legacy to be? What does having a legacy even mean? If I don't have children of my own, will my time here have been for naught? If I never find romantic love again, will my life ever be truly complete? Question after question floods my mind but no answers ever seem to follow.

This afternoon when this little game started, I reached an interesting conclusion: I don't think there are answers. I think we're meant to question - endlessly, ceaselessly - in order that we never accept "what is" in place of "what might be" for our dreams.

Yes, I have a really fabulous life and I am truly, deeply happy, with myself, my life, and the legacy I would leave if something happened tonight, but that's not all that I want for myself. I want love. I want children (adopted or biological). I want a family. I want to watch Alcott graduate from college and know that I had something to do with it. I want to have the eight girls from my Junior League provisional team at my wedding. (Yes, I really do want to be married again, although no white dress this time around!) I want to get my business degree and then, perhaps, a MBA or even look into law school. I want a strong man to walk beside me at the water's edge as the sun sets into the ocean. I want to lie on the couch reading the paper on a Sunday morning with my children playing around me and my husband's hand in mine. These are huge dreams, but I think that's the point.

Dreams are what makes the fire burn inside us. Without dreams, we just wander through our day-to-day existence with no concept of anything bigger or better. I know this because, not so very long ago, that was the way I lived my life. Well, to be precise, that was how I existed, for I don't think I really ever lived. Not properly. Not fully. Not deeply and passionately. Dreams, passion...they burn deep inside us like a roaring inferno, spurring us always on to greater things, and that's the point.

Never settle. Never sell yourself short. Never give up your passion.

10 comments:

Michele said...

Denise, this is NOT a post. This is a creed to live by and a motivational message to never stop dreaming. Dreams do come true. You know that because right at this very moment you are living a dream...the dream of being and workign toward the very best you that you can be.

My goodness you are inspirational.
Thank you for just being YOU.

Cori said...

That is a beautiful post....words to live by.Thanks.

Miss Lisa said...

Great post ... all good stuff :) ... and re your last post ... just write how you feel - that's the great part about a blog, it's YOU ... not us :)

Rusty said...

Cori redirected me here after I read this the first time, so I decided I'd leave a comment this time.

Eternal questioning! I love it, the options are endless. The same goes for life. Glad to see someone shares a few of my views.

Keep up the good work :-P

ms ralph said...

Everyone is motivating me tonight. Thanks for the mantra.

Silverella said...

Girlfriend, you rock! That was such a grand post! Thanks for sharing *hugs*

Dazed said...

Amen. Too often I focus on the "now" instead of the big picture, the dreams. Thanks for the little reminder. =)

agategoddess said...

You did it again my blogging friend, just when I needed it the most you put into words what I needed to hear. Thanks again.

Shannin said...

In "Bridges over Madison County," Robert Kincade says, "The old dreams were good dreams; they didn't work out, but I'm glad I had them." That is so true -- I've dreamed all kinds of dreams. Some are what my mom would call pipe dreams, but I'm still glad I let my soul and heart explore those dreams, even if they were never to come true...

In the end, if you don't dream it, you can't really ever have it.

Sandora said...

i chanced upon your blog through Google..and i must say that this post is truly inspirational! I suppose having a dream will lead me out of my wandering life.