Wednesday, February 09, 2005

No good, really bad, blue meany kind of day

Wednesday afternoon. You know how you have those days every once in a while where you look at yourself and think "omigosh, how can I even leave the house every day??? Look at how hideously fat I am!" What do you mean, you don't have those kind of days? Am I really the only one? Oh, dear.

So, I woke up, had breakfast, went downstairs to get in the shower, looked at myself (naked) in the mirror and was just horrified at the state of the food baby. What's even more awful than just feeling hugely fat is knowing that I was even bigger just a few months ago! People must totally have looked at me and thought I was related to the GoodYear blimp on my father's side because I feel like a parade float right now. Remember all of that stuff about how I could stay at this weight and in this body forever and ever and be happy? Yeah, not so much anymore. Blech, blech, blech!

There are several things to be thankful for about this development. First, I'm not turning against myself with loathing and anger - it's all still good, it's just nowhere near to being done. Nowhwere. Near. The other thing that's good about it is that I'm now even more motivated to stay tightly on track than I was before. (I was pretty darned motivated before!)

Life is so complex...I need a nap.

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