Saturday, February 19, 2005

It's over

Saturday night. The moment I'd been dreading has come: I just watched the last episode of SATC. As I lie here in bed, crying quietly, I realize just how much I'd come to identify with each of the ladies in the show.

I want to be as sexy, bold, and proud as Samantha,

I want to have the beautiful Park Avenue apartment and doting husband like Charlotte,

I want to be a successful wife and mother like Miranda, and, perhaps most importantly,

I want to be brave enough to give love one more chance, like Carrie.

I know, it's crazy. I've had my heart broken so many times and huge romances are nearly always guaranteed to destroy you when they're over, but I cannot help myself. We are programmed to be who we are and, for better or worse, I'm the girl with the big dream who wears her heart on her sleeve for everyone to see. While I know logically that it's safest to play hard to get, to keep my heart locked away so that no one can hurt me, that's just not who I am. And, I have to believe that, somewhere out there exists a man who dreams big, crazy dreams, too.

Mister Big (dreams), I'm waiting.

13 comments:

Alda said...

Denise, you know the best way to attract love and romance is to take care of and love yourself. Which to me it would seem you are working very hard on doing. Hence it's just a matter of time, I should think. Hang in there!

Angel said...

i can totally relate to the desire to be like actresses in the shows we watch. SIlently wishing we had the sexiness, the self-confidence, the great body and lifestyle to go with it... but i guess the trick is to be happy with who we are while we pursue what we want...

give yourself to the opportunity to love, better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. without taking the risk, u never know what could be... but always make sure you are loving yourself and happy with who you are before you decide to share yourself with others....

and out there is a very special man just for you...who will love everything about you and treat you like a princess. it usually happens when you least expect it :)

poopie said...

I can so relate Denise..I'm the same way with men. I ususally fall head over heels and it shows. Never have been able to play that hard to get game.....it's not who I am.

Like you, I figure there's a big dreamer out there somewhere for me!

sassy little punkin said...

i felt similarly, denise, when i saw the last SATC. actually, i felt with them the whole show through, season 1 to 6. it's nice to have television articulate our own hopes and aspirations, rather than the crap that's so popular these days that just mirrors our lowest qualities.

and thanks, belatedly for the plug. i salute you for your continued courage, openness and beauty.

Roni said...

SATC was a wonderful show that amazingly managed to get every type of woman to feel like a part of her was in each one of the characters.

Genius writing, don't you think?

And congratulations on the car!!! I got a new acura in December, with navigation too, and it is SCHWEET! Once you get used to nav, you can never go without it.

seeingdouble said...

I haven't seen it yet, but I'm dreading it for the same reason. (I'm renting the DVDs) Btw, you've been Tished!

ms ralph said...

Sorry Denise I can't seem to figure out how to vote for you kitties. I may need some help.

kathrynoh said...

I hope you find him :)

Tisha from Texas said...

I cried at the end - Mr. Big is my favorite for Carrie.
SInce you've been Tished, come by and see me!
http://tishasharpthewriter.blogspot.com

karma said...

Hi, you have been Tished! I chose you because I liked your title - and came here and found you have a very pretty template! :))

Rebecca said...

We are all hoping Mister Big comes your way soon!

Esther Kustanowitz said...

I wouldn't wish Mr. Big on anyone. I don't think he deserves Carrie. I wish you a Mr. Better-Than-Big.
I will allow him to look like Chris Noth, though.

Shannin said...

I loved that show, and miss it. I didn't want her to end up with Big for the same reason as Ester. However, I know why so many people loved them together. What got me was when Smith shaved his head to support Samantha. That made me weak in the knees....