Tuesday, January 25, 2005

Stopping to smell the roses

Tuesday afternoon. Well, it's moderately less busy here at work this week, for which I am very thankful. I did get a direct call from an external customer today, which is not supposed to (ever) happen, but we had a nice conversation, she let me know what was happening to her, and I told her that I'd find someone in Tech Support to call and help her (which I did). I feel the fog of work stress lifting from my life. It is a good feeling.

One of the wonderful things about the last week - and there were, in point of fact, many - is that I kept finding pockets of contentment and outright happiness even in the sea of work stress. It's amazing, really, to think about how much easier everyday stressors are to handle when you're on an even keel and taking good care of yourself. I eat properly 99% of the time, I get a reasonable amount of exercise, I drink mostly water and one decaf, nonfat, sugar-free latte a day, and I don't let the stress come out the door of the office with me - when I walk through those doors at the end of the day, I take a deep breath and exhale all work-related thoughts. Seriously! That was so not true last year this time.

As I drove from the Junior League training back to the house in order to change before picking Alcott up on Saturday, I realized, as the sun shone in through my car's sunroof, that I have the life I've always dreamed of. I have friends and I have purpose and I have drive and I'm not scared or ashamed of that drive any more because it's not some ego-driven thing, it's not about keeping up with or showing up anyone else, it's about being the best me - Denise, 37 year old project manager who lives alone with two cats in a disorganized and not clean house - possible. I also realized that, morbid as it might sound, if I died tomorrow, there are people that would really miss me. And I wondered what Denise from last year would think if she could see me now.

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