Thursday, September 30, 2004

Lookee, lookee

Thursday morning. My funk, or whatever you want to call it, does seem to have lifted since my "snap out of it" posting on Tuesday, which is welcome because work has kicked into Stress Level 18 and I don't think I could handle that plus Crank Factor 10 all at once.

Am I the only one that worries that I'll never be able to get it all right? That there is a force in the universe that decrees something - sometimes more than one something - must be misaligned in your life at all times and that, once I get a grip on my health, something else is going to go seriously wonky? Of course, it's probably very likely that I'm the only one that actually strives for perfection in everything and then beats myself to a pulp when I don't meet my (impossibly high) standards. I can't remember who it was that made the comment, "you'd never talk to one of us the way that you talk to yourself, Denise," which, in all seriousness, is very true. I'm brutal when it comes to the way I think and talk about myself and completely opposite of that about others.

I need to acknowledge that:
* I'm not a bad person. Some days, I'm actually a pretty good person

* I'm trying. Really, really trying. I might slip occasionally, but, more often than not, I'm changing my life. Real, significant changes. Changes that will revolutionize the way I live my life (to steal from the VLSCI mission statement). There are not many people who will ever be able to make the commitment to change and actually follow through to see that it happens, but I am

Progress, not perfection.

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