Monday, July 26, 2004

Disaffected much?

Monday morning. I know it's been over three days since I last wrote but, I'm afraid, the song is the same and I haven't written any new lyrics, either. The way I was explaining it (not well) to a friend last night is that it's like I'm not unhappy, it's more that I'm anxious and antsy and just not happy. In the old days, I would have eaten my way through feelings like these - it wouldn't have helped, but it would have at least given me something to do. As it is, I just feel like I need to shed my skin because it's chafing and, of course, I can't do that, so I just pace and fret and whine and feel sorry for myself because I'm totally unable to be happy or, at the very least, properly distracted.

The Ten Percent Challenge is still coming along nicely. I did skip my walk last night because I was waiting for a phone call, but I won't do that again. I am a little paranoid that I'm going to see a gain or no loss this week because last night's skipped walk means I only did four days of cardio last week, even though I'm going to make up for it by doing six days this week. Just to be on the safe side, I think I'll wait until Sunday to weigh in (it'll give things time to even back out with the extra exercise plus it will be a month since my last published weight and measurements). I did increase my walking time to 39 minutes plus warm up and cool down on Saturday, right on schedule, without any pain and without freaking out about how much of a commitment that is. I'm trying to keep focused on my goals: tight control of my blood sugar, less weight for my skeleton to carry around (specifically, my ankles, knees, hips, and lower back), and more energy for the active lifestyle I want to create. Hopefully, by keeping my eyes on what's really important here, I won't get too freaked out when the number on the scale or on the tags in my clothing aren't as low as I'd like. As long as my blood sugar is under control, it doesn't matter how fat I am because I'll be on my way to a lifetime of good health.

Oh yes, and on a completely unrelated and superficial note, I bought my very first Kate Spade bag on Saturday at Nordie's! WooHoo. Can you say "Anniversary Priced"? It was less than half of the original price and I love it so very much. It's one of her really awesome awning stripe patterns in a bucket style bag and the colors are really rich and bold, so it should be good for all seasons, not just summer. I'll try to get a picture and post it so that I can stare at it throughout the day.

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