Friday, June 18, 2004

What do you write about when it's all going boringly well?

Friday afternoon. I think we are about to find out the answer to the question posed in the title.

I apologize for having been absent several days, I just don't have much to write about because things are going really well. I don't want to come here and say that every day, so I've sort of been lurking and waiting for something blogworthy to happen. Since that hasn't happened yet, here I am, scrounging for something interesting to write about. I'm thinking this is going to be a compilation of totally random thoughts but, come to think of it, isn't that what I usually do?

Things I've noticed this week (not necessarily interesting to anyone but me) include:

* I have definitely kicked the clothes I wear to work up a notch. In the past, it's been leggings and sweaters or, during the summer, shorts and short sleeved shirts. (Yes, it's very casual around here.) This week, I've worn heels every day I've been in the office and even remembered to put mascara on. Today, I've got on a new twin set (adorable eyelet and ruffles creation in taupe) with a black, swingy, knee length skirt, and two inch high, black patent, t-strap shoes. I've already had several comments about how nice I look, which is awesome. I know that this is a direct result of my increasing self esteem and positive feelings about myself. Yay for me!

* Even though I was mentally tired and really wanted to meld and become one with the couch last night, I was equally drawn to take my 22 minute walk (plus five minutes each for warm up and cool down), which is what I actually did. Yes, it was a little slower than the night before, when I'd really pushed myself to pick up the pace, but it got my heart rate elevated and made me sweaty, and it felt good. Daily walking is really becoming part of my routine and it isn't the chore (or as painful) as it used to be. [Note: I apologize to anyone who has been hearing my voice in their heads while trying to avoid getting out and doing their activity of choice - I honestly thought I was the only one that could hear those voices!]

* I'm not as intimidated by others that I used to perceive as "stronger" than me and I'm starting to stand up for myself more, both at work and at home. I'm learing that there's a difference between being pushy and being assertive. I have the right to say how I feel and to have my opinion and feelings acknowledged, even if nothing more comes of it. Just being heard is a wonderful feeling and it beats the heck out of being passive-aggressive and always mad because no one listens to you.

* I keep finding new areas that I want to explore and work on for myself. For instance, my terminal case of procrastination-itis. I've signed up for a class on Barnes & Noble.com to help me be more focused and get things done. This also has the good fortune to allow me to complete one of my objectives for my annual performance appraisal, which is nice.

In the meantime, I continue to eat only my healthy gourmet meals, drink 100 ounces of water each day, and get my pre-arranged amount of activity in on five or six days a week. I am also continuing to nurture my self esteem through positive thinking and speaking about myself. I know it sounds really Stuart Smalley-ish, but it's working for me and that's what counts.

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