Monday, July 28, 2003

Monday morning. How much did I get accomplished over the weekend? Um, not a whole lot. I did, however, manage to get my groceries ordered and delivered, so I'm back in (the low cal, low fat, high hunger for a while) business. I know I'll be fine in a few days, it's just the initial discomfort that I need to get through and, honestly, I need to do this. Enough talk, more action!

Talked to C. last night at length about the kind of wedding we want. Now, I realize that this might seem premature to some, but I know in my heart that we will be married, it's only a question of when and how (apparently, after our discussion). I want a very plain, very simple wedding, something befitting the fact that we've both done this before. I want one simple bouquet of flowers on the altar and a simple bouquet for me to hold, but nothing elaborate or overdone. I don't want to be "given away", a fact which (unexpectedly) started quite the discussion. My feeling is that I am not anyone's to be given at this point (my ex husband being the closest thing to my last "owner") and so I shouldn't need to be given away. I believe that we reached a point of compromise at having both of my parents walk with me to the altar but no "giving away" thingy. It is sort of ludicrous to discuss a wedding that is at least 10 months away, but it comforts me during this period of enforced separation to think about the time when nothing except God will separate us. Just keep focusing on the future, Denise...do not think about the next 22 weeks and how much they are going to hurt!

Weeks until Christmas: 22

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