Tuesday, May 20, 2003

Tuesday afternoon. I am as jumpy as a cat today and I know why: it is only 3 days and 2 hours until I am in C's arms!!! Just the mere thought of being physically in his presence makes my knees weak and my heart pound. I feel like a teenaged girl, except that I know this one is the real thing. I guess that's the benefit of getting older...you also gain experience and insight into others and yourself, and that leaves you much better equipped to know when something's real. Of course, there are always those times that your head tells you that something is wrong and you simply don't listen. This is not one of those times, at least not yet. Yes, this weekend will show with certainty whether or not there is anything hidden that we're not aware of that will keep us from forming the most lasting of bonds, but I just don't expect there will be.

Tough to focus on other areas of my life, but I'm forcing myself to. Eating properly, with a few minor modifications to allow for my hormonal fluctuations, drinking my water, exercising (which has definitely suffered from all of my time online) and getting some sleep! C and I together are working on that last point, even to the point that I brought my kitchen timer down to the computer with me last night so that I could set it and get us off the computer on time. Worked like a charm, as a matter of fact! I cannot even imagine what Thursday will be like, as it's my last day before I leave to see C. Hope no one wants me to think! [Note: just checked Outlook and, at least at this point, I'm clear all day on Thursday, so it will just be dealing with miscellaneous stuff that comes up. Let's hope nothing comes up!]

Trainer Hottie and I are having control issues, methinks. Yesterday's workout was painful (not just for my muscles) because I got a scolding for arguing too much and complaining about the heavier weights too much. Well, from my perspective, if it feels like the weights are going to fall out of my hands because they're so heavy, I feel I ought to mention that. Apparently, if I'm not in agonizing pain, he doesn't want to hear about it. Not sure how much longer I'll be using a trainer, not just because of the conflict arising between us but also for financial reasons. I simply can't justify the expense when I could be using eDiets fitness section and the gym downstairs to do the same thing. I need to get myself out of debt and put my financial affairs in order...just in case. :-)

Monday's exercise: 1 hour of toning/weights/stretching with trainer
Weeks to 2004 LA Marathon: 41